I cannot tell you how often as an attorney, a client tells me, " I want to settle." It is such a common phrase amongst people getting divorced. The divorce process is stressful and many times people struggle to understand why this process can take such a long time and want a quick fix.
The good news is, most cases do settle. The bad news is, it is a matter of timing, and you cannot control it. Ever heard the expression, "it takes two to tango?" Well, it takes two to settle. Often clients say that they want to settle, but do not understand that it's a matter of time for a few reasons. Many times it is emotional. Someone will begin the divorce process with an unclear idea of what they want, or what they are entitled to, and this makes it hard for people to accept a settlement offer. Similarly, a person on the receiving end of a divorce may be hurt or angry, and unable to put aside their emotions to deal with the "business" aspect of the breakdown of their marriage. However, often through the divorce process people begin to become more comfortable with how their life will be when the divorce is finalized, and they become more amenable to settling their case.
Other times, it is simply a matter of not having all the "puzzle pieces" in place. Often the discovery phase of a divorce stresses people out because this is where they have to disclose financial information. But what many clients do not understand, is that this phase is what sets up settlement. Once you see the cards the other person is holding, you have a better understanding of what you are entitled to, and this fosters settlement.
I often tells my clients that their divorce will test their patience in ways they have never experienced. The Court system can be slow, but it is during this time that people accept that their old way of life is no more, and become comfortable in the new phase in their life. A client of mine once said to me, "everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end." She was right, your divorce shall too end. Hang in there, it's all a matter of timing!
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