Co-parenting after a divorce is often a tricky task for those who went through a particularly contentious process. However, for the benefit of your children, it is crucial for you and your ex-spouse to overcome these personal hurdles to raise your children as a team. You do not have to become best friends, but you should learn to treat each other with civility to spare your children unnecessary tension and conflict.
Tips to Co-Parent After a Divorce
As long as you and your co-parent are willing to cooperate and work together on developing a better co-parenting relationship, you can eventually achieve a dynamic that serves the best interests of your children.
Here are some tips that will help you learn how to effectively co-parent with your ex-spouse:
- Do not let your feelings drive your actions: We all have emotions, but our actions should be based on logic and doing what is best for the situation at hand rather than on impulse and feeling. Keep this in mind as you co-parent with your ex-spouse. You likely still have a lot of feelings about your failed marriage, but they should not dictate how you raise your children unless you believe their wellbeing or safety is at risk. If you need to let off steam or get something off your chest, confide in a friend, a therapist, or expend all that energy by exercising.
- Do not let your children get in the middle of your problems: Despite your best efforts, you might still get into some arguments. Do not get your children involved or use them as messengers. These issues are between you and your co-parent, so keep the kids out of it and do not complain about your ex-spouse to them. It will put them in a difficult position and they will likely feel obligated to choose sides.
- Find out what works for you: Not all forms of communication will work for you and your co-parent, so find out what works best and minimizes conflict. If in-person interactions spark too many arguments, consider texting, emails, or phone calls. When communicating, keep your conversations kid-centric and be a good listener. When people understand each other better, it is easier to achieve a compromise.
- Make visits easier for your children: Do not make your children feel guilty about visiting their other parent. Instead, make the transition easier for them by helping them anticipate the coming changes. Help them pack some of the things they will need ahead of time to mentally prepare them for the visit. You should also drop off your children instead of picking them up. Picking up your children tends to make it seem like you are taking your children away from their other parent, which can stir up some negative emotions.
Schedule a Consultation with a Compassionate Attorney!
If you are experiencing difficulties with your child custody arrangement, reach out to the experienced family law team at Friedman & Friedman PLLC, Attorneys at Law for the skilled guidance you need during this difficult time.
Contact us today at (516) 688-0088 to schedule an initial consultation.